Disagreeing well
Disagreements are normal. Here's how to keep them kind. · 2 min read
Every couple disagrees. What matters is how. People who study relationships find that the way a disagreement starts often decides how it ends.
Start softly
Start gently. Talk about the situation and how you feel (“I felt left out when plans changed”), not about what's wrong with the other person.
Pause
Take a break when emotions run high. Twenty minutes apart, then come back, is better than saying something you'll regret.
Repair
Small repairs go a long way: a bit of humor, an apology, “I see your point.” Notice when the other person tries to repair, and meet them halfway.
Know the line
Disagreement is never an excuse for contempt, threats or control. If someone makes you feel afraid, that's not a disagreement. Reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (thehotline.org), or call 911 if you're in danger.